How Our Kids and Others Emotionally Survived Fires

Our kids were the center of our concern, after survival, during the Sonoma County fires of 2017.

We’re reaching the one year anniversary this month, and I thought I’d reflect on that year.

Bear with me–we live under the shadow of grief here in San Francisco’s north bay.

Nearly 100,000 school children witnessed some form of trauma during the weeks the fires raged.

The horror may not have been from fleeing their homes in the middle of the night while flames blew up and fire rained from the sky.

But, from anywhere in the valley, they saw flames, they breathed smoke, they watched horrifying images on television.

They saw their parents uncertain and many were afraid. Many people did not go to work for at least a week.

Certainly, it wasn’t as bad as Rwanda or the continual worldwide refugee crisis. Few children, if any, lacked food.

But their American world turned upside down.

Fortunately, many caring people in Sonoma County did their best to make it easier on our kids.

The Schools

I’m so thankful for the wise educators in Sonoma County.

The administrators remained in the high schools printing every senior’s transcript before pulling the computer hard drives and shutting down the schools.

Their quote was significant:

“We want to make sure our seniors do not lose their chance at college.”

None of the five high schools in my town burned, but the fires reached within two blocks of the high school just up the road from us.

I’m tearing up remembering their determination to do the best they could for the students.

(The University of California delayed the application deadline a few extra weeks for students in the fire zone.)

The school districts also insisted school would not open until everything was cleaned.

Smoke sat nearly to the ground in Santa Rosa for almost a week.

The Santa Rosa school districts remained closed for three weeks to ensure school would be safe.

Once back, everyone worked on math to try to catch up, but in the elementary schools, the teachers devoted themselves to the arts.

The point was to help the children process what we, as a community, had been through.

Our kids needed to be able to express their emotions.

Many teachers lost homes. Getting back into the classroom with their kids helped them.

Learning appreciation

For our kids, the Sonoma County Fires presented an opportunity to learn gratitude.

Many classrooms wrote letters of appreciation to the first responders who saved many lives and homes.

Firefighters from around the world came to Sonoma County to help in this catastrophe.

One fire chief later wrote our newspaper that he had never received so many thank you notes.

Our kids rose to the occasion. They knew.

Everyone expressed gratitude for so much.

Mr. Rogers’ helpers were everywhere.

Our community came together to help.

Our kids and extended family

From the first day, our out-of-the-area relatives were involved.

My daughter monitored events from Los Angeles, reporting things she saw on television that we didn’t know.

Relatives insisted we take the kids and go to a beach house they owned.

He was persistent, and his wife and family chimed in.

After we were evacuated a second time, on day two, we all headed, in fear but with gratitude, to the beach.

The air was clean and we didn’t fear fire. We all could sleep at night. No adult had to stay awake in case of fire.

(Or earthquake. We had an earthquake the first night after the fire started).

The neighbors in that community brought us food the first late night. They checked on us, People knew we were evacuees and were concerned.

We were so very blessed by their generosity and kindness.

They, in turn, were charmed by the thank you notes the children wrote and delivered to them.

Our kids and recovery

My five adorable grandchildren spent the first week with their grandparents, parents, aunt and uncle, three cats and one dog.

By day three, the horror–except for adults monitoring fire on television–passed for them.

They were at the beach.

They played in the sand, danced to the CD player and listened to stories.

From Mad Libs booklets they learned about nouns, verbs, adjectives, and adverbs.

They howled with laughter, often.

Our kitten provided distractions, particularly her interaction with the terrier.

With school out, they left the beach after a week and visited their other grandparents.

For them, once away from home, the fires were nothing more than an excuse for a holiday.

Long-term results?

We were out of our homes for nearly two weeks. Our family’s five homes came through the fires intact.

(Fire came within five blocks, however).

A month or so later, I asked the girls (ages seven, six, five and four) to do a play for me about the fires.

“Sure!” They ran to the dress up box for costumes and before I turned on my camera, began.

The oldest entered first wearing a hat. “I’m the fireman!”

#2 came in waving a piece of red cloth. “I’m the fire!”

The four-year-old crawled in barking. “I’m the fireman’s dog!”

Our third granddaughter carried a set of pom-poms: “I’m the water putting out the fire!”

They laughed, acted and when it was done (the red cloth fire stamped onto the floor) they grabbed hands.

“Thank you first responders!”

And then those four little evacuees bowed. “All done.”

We’re not worried about our kids at all.

Thanks be to God.

And great thanks to the Sonoma County schools, the first responders, our family’s generosity and for all of you who prayed for us.

(Note: make sure your computer is backed up; you never know when a crisis will hit, and take a look at these pointers on preparing for a crisis.)

Tweetables

Thanks to Sonoma County schools for helping kids after a fire. Click to Tweet

Singing, art, stories, and family. How to survive a crisis. Click to Tweet

How kids weathered the Sonoma County fires of 2017. Click to Tweet