My elderly friend Jo died two weeks ago.
She was only ten days shy of her 101st birthday.
I only knew her the last 15 years (15%) of her life, but our friendship was joyous and valuable to me.
An elderly friend can do that for you.
Sharing interests
Jo had attended my Bible study for a few months and displayed her spiritual insight and wisdom on numerous occasions.
But it was her answer to my “ice-breaker” question that cemented our friendship.
“Who has met a US president?” I asked one day as I bustled around preparing to teach.
Several women had met President Bill Clinton, someone met one of the Bush presidents and a former Orange County resident once shook President Richard M. Nixon’s hand.
“I met Calvin Coolidge once,” Virginia native Jo said.
“Get out of here, Jo,” I laughed. “No one’s ever met Calvin Coolidge!”
“I was a little girl. I remember walking up the steps of the White House with my father to meet him. He had bright red hair.”
My jaw dropped. She had met Calvin Coolidge!
An elderly friend with a fascinating history
If Calvin Coolidge’s handshake wasn’t enough to catch my attention (it was), there was also her former life in Washington DC.
She’d moved to the city to attend Strayer College and earn a degree in stenography prior to World War II.
A model on the side, Jo landed a fascinating job: in Naval Intelligence–the Far East Division.
She once briefed a young Lieutenant headed to his first command on the PT boat #109.
His name?
John F. Kennedy.
“I didn’t much like him,” she drawled in her distinctive voice. “He was a womanizer.”
She also had a surprising experience when her boss plunked an odd machine on her desk and asked her to decode it.
“I wasn’t trained for that,” she said.
It was the Enigma machine.
Perhaps you’ve heard of the OSS?
An elderly friend with real-life wisdom
She left government service in her 40’s. A single woman, she wanted to finish her education–which she did.
After earning a Bachelor of Arts degree at Meredith College, she obtained a master’s at the University of Denver and ultimately became a psychoanalyst.
(Why not? Surely she had plenty of experience with odd characters after her war work!)
Jo worked at Napa State Hospital for many years. True to her profession, she never talked about her patients.
She also never psychoanalyzed any of us in Bible study–which is probably for the best.
Occasionally, she’d point out someone must have been a narcissist–but it was always someone in the news, not one of us.
Jo had lived through and seen so much, I valued her opinion when something about life confounded me.
An elderly friend and genealogy
Of course, she’d be interested in genealogy–she knew most of those people.
(A friendly joke between us).
I put together Jo’s genealogy when I learned about her unusual middle name: her godfather’s surname.
Three of my godsons had a grandfather with the same name as Jo’s godfather–from the same part of Virginia.
I loved the thought the men might be the same person–except the grandfather was born two months after Jo.
Still, Jo and I had fun tracing the lines and discussing our ancestors’ Huguenot past (all in Virginia three hundred years ago, but not related).
I demonstrated how her line went all the way back to Switzerland–which delighted her. She loved Switzerland’s beauty.
Shared Interests
Older than my mother, Jo reminded me of my mom’s love of travel.
We swapped stories of her past trips and my current ones.
She loved hearing about our adventures, particularly when they involved classical music in Europe, and enjoyed knowing my family.
Jo had nieces and nephews whom she adored–and we heard her pride in their achievements during Bible study–but her heart was always open to others.
We’re not sure she ever met a stranger.
Jo had a knack for striking up conversations with people on the bus, in waiting rooms, and in her apartment complex.
She loved our church and invited everyone to visit.
The elderly woman, whose mind held strong all the way to the end, had no qualms about advising young people she met around town.
No one seemed to mind–because Jo was always so charming.
The last personal link to WWI
Jo was my last personal link to World War I.
Born six months before Armistice, she didn’t remember the war, but she was fascinated by my work on A Poppy in Remembrance.
As my years of research and writing stretched, I feared she’d never see the book.
When I finally received a copy, I took it right to her.
She loved the cover and the inscription, but her eyesight wouldn’t allow her to read it.
Somehow the war didn’t seem so far in the past when someone I knew had been alive during the final year.
The value of an elderly friend
My life is so much richer because of my friend Jo.
It’s also richer because of all the other people I know older than me.
They help me put my life and experiences into perspective.
They charm, cajole, encourage and pray for me.
I’ll always miss Jo’s presence, but I’m thankful I’ll see her again someday.
Pay attention to your elderly friends–they still have plenty to show, teach and give us.
Tweetables
The value of an elderly friend: living history. Click to Tweet
The last touch with WWI: a woman who met Calvin Coolidge! Click to Tweet
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