Do you assume the best when people say ugly things to you?
Or when those cars speed by and then cut you off in traffic?
How about when your teenage is really, really late?
Can our response to those, er, irritants in our lives tell us something about our own heart?
What does our attitude and judgement say about our hearts?
We live in an age where vindictiveness, judgement, and harsh words are the norm.
It doesn’t have to be that way, but we’re choosing to “buy into” such an attitude.
It’s shocking when people misconstrue your words, your ideas, or your thoughts and excoriate you with bitterness and ugliness.
Many of us have been in that state.
Some of us are still there.
But, it’s important to remember that God looks at the attitude of our hearts.
He knows things about the situation we don’t know.
He knows things about me I don’t want anyone else to know. I want you to assume the best about me.
It all goes back to the attitudes of our hearts–because our words come out our hearts.
But it also involves deciding to choose the best “spin on events.”
Many don’t want to do that because,
- It’s not fair.
- They’ve done something mean
- I know better.
- I’m the parent; that kid can’t control me.
All those may be true from your point of view, but what about the other person’s?
As Jesus reminds us: “ By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”
(Or as the teenagers used to say: “Assume makes an ass out of you and me.”)
Attitude needed to assume the best
As always, forgiveness serves as the beginning.
That doesn’t mean we don’t acknowledge the slap, error, tardiness, or result.
But it does mean we choose to forgive.
And then we move on, just as in the Corrie ten Boom quote: “God takes our sins—past, present, and future—and dumps them in the sea and puts up a sign that says “No Fishing Allowed.”
We need to release the atitude, sin, hurt, whatever, and move on.
We simply don’t know how that disappointment, someday, could lead us to thankfulness instead.
WHY would you think they were _____________?
For years, my husband has reminded us to consider there may be other things at work than general nastiness.
“People don’t generally get up in the morning wanting to do a bad job,” he says.
When he reminds us of that attitude, it makes us wonder about ourselves.
I don’t get up each morning plotting to be evil or nasty or judgemental or cruel.
Why would I assume someone else came to work determined to make my life miserable?
Even worse, why do we choose to be offended?
When I ask myself that question, it becomes easier to imagine the offender’s actionas not being personal.
1 Corinthians 13 reminds us that love, “bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
And that includes a long line at the grocery store.
But what can I assume about the problem people?
If you’re in a position to talk with them, ask what the problem is.
Keep your voice even-tempered and not confrontational as you ask questions like these:
- Did something happen that made you late?
- Was there a reason why you hung up on me?
- Is it busier than usual today?
- Thank you for answering my question, etc.
Assume the best.
“The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger, And his glory is to overlook a transgression.” Proverbs 19:11
“The Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful.”
Your teenager’s answer may very well be a problem–especially if they lie.
But that’s another issue and it should be addressed with appropriate action.
But the car cutting me off in traffic, or tail-gaiting, or being reckless near me?
I’ve taken the philosophy of believing there must be something causing the driver to be in such a hurry.
So, I pray for them and, if it’s safe, I pull over and let them speed by.
God can deal with the other driver. I need to protect my heart from anger, bitterness, or worse.
“A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.” Proverbs 19:11; NKJV
Besides, nothing would be gained by arguing about it.
Tweetables
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