We’re vacation planning with two teenagers these days.
Along with their very experienced adult aunt.
They’ll be meeting us in a long way from home after we finish a ministry trip this summer.
The aunt has traveled with us since birth.
The teenage girls?
Never.
Their fathers, also experienced in traveling with us since birth, are laughing. “You’ll love it. Go!”
How do you do vacation planning with teenagers?
Once upon a time, a friend and I took our teenage daughters (see the above aunt) to New York City over spring break.
Before we left, I took a poll with two questions:
- What do you HAVE to see on this trip?
- List three other places you’d like to visit in order of preference.
From there, and in consultation with J, the other mom, I arranged an itinerary for our five days in the city.
Fortunately, three of us agreed on our number one: The Metropolitan Museum of Art.
The rest of the lists lined up to the classics: Statue of Liberty, a play, MOMA, Central Park, Chinatown, Empire State Building, New York Public Library (that was me!), and the 911-site.
We stayed in a hotel near Times Square, so that was a given.
Did vacation planning include the theater?
J and I purchased tickets in advance to see The Phantom of the Opera as our splurge event.
That was fine with the girls (14 and 15), but they really wanted to see Wicked.
J and I had never heard of it.
Which is why vacation planning ahead of time was important.
Fortunately, during those years, you could line up at the Wicked box office at five o’clock, and enter a lottery. Each person wrote their name on a ticket.
You returned at seven o’clock to hear them select twenty-five people who could buy two tickets for that night’s performance.
We did that every day we were in New York. (Which made a mess of dinner plans!)
Vacation Planning and Independence
Since this trip was about me demonstrating to my daughter that I could be a really fun go-with-the-flow mom (it had been a long winter), I decided to give her a very long leash.
I still held the leash, but she had plenty of leeway.
It started with the subway.
We bought passes and handed them out. “Okay, girls, you’re in charge of the subway.”
The California girls looked at me. “What do you mean?”
“You’re going to figure out how to get to wherever we’re going on the subway. Examine the map, plot the subway, and we’ll follow you.”
J laughed with me at the surprise on their faces. They were both conscientious girls.
“What if we don’t get off at the right place?” my teenager asked.
“We’ll just catch the subway back to wherever. We aren’t going to care if we get lost. You’re in charge.”
Working together, they figured it out. We never got lost. We never got off at the wrong place. They were very proud of themselves.
And they never missed returning us to the Wicked theater in time for the lottery.
Visiting an Art Museum
First day, though, we set out for the two art museums on our lists: the Museum of Modern Art, and then the Met.
Since MoMA was on the way, we stopped there first.
None of us really liked it (“What’s the point of appreciating a work of art if the artist can’t figure out what to name it?” asked one).
We breezed through the exhibits very quickly.
The Met, though. Ah, a great success.
We started in the Egyptian wing–which the girls loved.
It was crowded, has many paintings, and can be overwhelming.
So, I went into traditional “visiting an art museum” mode and we walked quickly through the exhibits.
At each new gallery, I glanced around, found the most famous painting, and led them to it for a hurried description.
They needed to know why this painting was significant.
We chatted about it and then and headed to the next exhibit.
Total fun.
Do teenagers want to visit museums?
My children think visiting museums IS the purpose of the vacation.
No problems with our friends.
But we spent a lot of time just walking the streets, discussing how different New York was from our homes on the west coast.
We visited Chinatown, walked through Greenwich Village and the 911-site on our way to catch the ferry to see the Statue of Liberty.
The girls enjoyed going to the top of the Empire State Building and admiring the astonishing view.
Central Park was beautiful and we had an ice cream cone.
But each night on time, we returned to the Wicked theater to sign up for and then learn if we’d won the lottery.
Tantalizying: would we see Wicked?
The girls sang songs from Wicked the entire trip.
Why I had never heard this music before?
Three nights in a row, we didn’t win the seat lottery.
On Thursday, we stopped by one last time.
The man taking my lottery ticket looked at me. “Have you been here all week?”
“Yes. We’ve come all the way from San Francisco, and this is what the girls really want to do.”
He nodded and read my name. “Mrs. Ule, right?”
I looked him in the eye. “Yes.”
“Good luck.”
Surely you heard the screams two hours later when they picked my daughter’s lottery ticket? (Okay, she has the same last name, maybe that was it?)
She and her friend sat front row, center, for $25 each. They could practically touch the orchestra conductor.
J and I bought our own tickets, far from the girls, and enjoyed the show.
it wasn’t part of my vacation planning with teenagers, but for all of us, winning the lottery to see Wicked was the highlight of a great trip.
It also started the restoration of our relationship, which was important.
But, all of that was possible because I left planning the vacation in the hands of two capable teenage girls.
In 2024?
Both girls have travel guides. I gave them post-it notes and a deadline: “tell me what you want to see more than anything.”
The fourteen-year-old handed me a full book fulled marked.
The thirteen-year-old squealed, “I just want to go!”
So the aunt and I are planning (with the teenager’s notes).
And my husband? He just laughs.
It should be a great trip.
Vacation planning with teenagers is an opportunity to:
- Teach them some independence.
- Learn about their interests.
- Encourage their enthusiasm for a trip.
- Bond as a family.
Try it!
Tweetables
Vacation planning with teenagers–let them do it! Click to Tweet
Tips for vacationing with teenagers. Click to Tweet
Thoughts? Reactions? Lurker?