What makes a good neighbor?
Perhaps you’ve pondered that question over the years–possibly while wishing your neighbor would turn down the music at midnight!
We’ve had a wonderful example for the last eleven years.
We’ll call him Hank (for his family’s privacy).
He died last week. We’re grieving.
Characteristics of our good neighbor Hank
We’ve moved fourteen times during our marriage and have lived in military housing five times.
We’ve had many neighbors–most of whom were terrific.
Many are still friends.
But Hank and his family were our neighbors longer than anyone else.
They were, and are, wonderful.
We always started our family Christmas caroling at their house first.
What made Hank a good neighbor?
- Friendliness. Hank waved at us when we arrived and introduced himself. Since we could see his house from ours and he spent a lot of time in his “man cave” garage, we chatted all the time.
- Helpfulness. Hank happily offered any help we needed when we moved in.
- Generosity. Retired, Hank always had time to chat. He was the heartbeat of the neighborhood. He greeted small children, dog walkers, lonely folks, and even readers visiting my little library.
- Creativity. He built birdhouses in his garage and always invited people to see them and comment. I think we all received one as a gift. I can see mine out the window right now.
- Kindness. When we traveled, he kept an eye on our houses and, unfortunately, had to pick up the newspaper whenever some neighbors forgot to stop it!
- Christmas lover. His lights were always splendid. I’m sad realizing we won’t see them anymore.
Uniting in Neighborhood Crises
You want to be able to trust and depend upon your neighbors–particularly when you’re swept up in a local crisis.
In 2017, our community went up in smoke. 5200 homes burned to the ground.
I’ve written about it often, but on that horrible night, when I went outside at midnight to look for smoke, Hank and two other neighbors stood in the street.
They were watching for flames and comparing notes.
Hank had gone to the corner to look up the highway. Charlie had walked up the road a few blocks to see which direction sent the traffic jam of cars creeping away.
Both dependable men discussed what to do and invited me and my next-door neighbor into the conversation.
“We need to go,” Charlie finally said after another glance at the sky. “I’m packing up now.”
We exchanged cell phone numbers. My husband and I loaded up our cars and took off.
Firefighters stopped the flames four blocks up the highway. We did not return home for three weeks.
Always an affable man, he chatted up the National Guard who stood watch at the end of our street, pointed out his house, and returned to find his cat.
Or so he told them.
He claimed their cat, grabbed other personal items, noted our houses still stood, and texted us the good news.
Such a good neighbor.
A loss for the whole neighborhood
Even now a week later, we look at his house when we walk by and wonder why his garage door isn’t open.
His hearty waves and invitations to stop and tell stories are gone now, forever.
I like to tell stories, too. My husband laughed. “Who told the best story today?” when I’d come in after talking to Hank.
Hank always made me smile.
Even now, I can hear his voice calling after me when I’d walk by going home. “You have a good day now.”
I’ve spent a lot of time standing outside the man cave and listening to his stories. He knew all about the neighborhood’s history and often remembered his childhood in our town.
“You, too, Hank.”
Forever.
We already miss you.
Tweetables
The value and happiness of having a good neighbor. Click to Tweet
Mr. Rogers aside, what makes a good neighbor? Click to Tweet
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