What Do You Want To Do?

“What do you want to do when you grow up?” is a question kids hear often.

It makes me laugh sometimes.

Are they really supposed to have an answer when they’re five years old?

Have they lived long enough?

Ah, that’s where parents come in.

What attracts a kid to a specific job?

Why does your child want to be a firefighter or a superhero?

As adults, we can guess.

They’re attracted to the lights, sirens, big trucks, and the excitement of having all the cars stop when a firetruck roars down the road.

Maybe they like the uniform?

Many children can’t answer “why?” beyond “because.”

Perhaps they’re imagining a future when they’re not small or easily overlooked.

They may want to feel important or to stop traffic.

(My child got that dream come true as a young adult EMT. Their ambulance was behind a car that drove off the San Diego Freeway, so they stopped traffic until the highway patrol arrived!)

Thinking about the question may help adults who love children understand what motivates their answer.

A question more important than “What do you want to do?”

Maybe a better question to ask is, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

As in, “What are your dreams for what you want your life to be like?”

And, of course, if you’re the parent, how do you react to their answer?

A few simple questions could trigger a different answer.

• Where do you want to live?
• What type of job sounds interesting?
• Do you like to help people?
• How long do you want to go to school?
• Would you prefer to sit at a desk or work outside?
• Do you care if you get dirty?
• Perhaps you’d like to save the world from spies?

One of my children shriveled up at the table after asking how long you have to go to school to become a doctor.

After I spelled out all the college, medical school, and residency requirements, the ten-year-old crumpled at the table and wailed.

“Why do I have to go to school so long just so I can work at Boy Scout Camp?”

Ah, there was the real desire.

“You could become a nurse. That’s only two years of nursing school after college.”

The child thought about it.

“I’d rather be a doctor.”

(The child did not grow up to be a doctor).

A parent’s answer to the question.

As a high school senior applying to college, I asked my father, “What do you think I should major in?”

“I’m not telling you.”

“Why not?”

“You need to figure that out on your own.”

I understood his answer, but because he didn’t ask me any questions, he didn’t understand what I actually sought.

I needed to know what he thought I was good at. What talents did he see in me?

When I flipped a coin, English or History, it came up heads. I majored in English Literature.

(Which made me read all sorts of poetry. I’ve read almost no poetry since I graduated from college. But I have read hundreds of history books.

Expanding the “what do you want to do” conversation

(Since the English degree taught me how to do “textual analysis,” or for me, how to study the Bible, it probably was a good call!)

Remembering my own experience, I wouldn’t tell my kids what to major in or what to do when they grew up.

When asked, I always had the same answer: “Whatever God created you to do.”

I didn’t leave it at that. I’d tell them what I’d observed about their interests and aptitudes. I applauded their work ethics and their empathetic hearts.

It’s important that someone notices what young people do well, or where their interests lie.

During a recent museum visit, I paid attention to what interested the kids.

Both girls spent a lot of time in front of rocks and minerals. (They liked the gemstones, but one is taking a geology class this school year).

One girl lingered over a microscope in two different museums. I took a picture and sent it to her parents.

Maybe she was curious. Maybe she’ll be a scientist.

If she asks me, I’ll ask her what made the microscope so intriguing to her.

It may mean nothing.

Or, it could be the start of a lifelong interest.

Whether that’s what she does when she grows up or not.

What did you want to do when you were growing up?

What do you do now–or–what still interests you now?

(Final point: don’t assume you know what your child should become. Our children are all employed and happy. I’d never heard of any of their jobs before they accepted them. Several positions hadn’t been invented when they were growing up.)

Tweetables

Helping kids figure out–or not–their future professions. Click to Tweet

How to help kids figure out “What do you want to do?” Click to Tweet