Some years, Christmas Eve can be lonely.
That’s true of us this year.
Our boys are off with their “other side” of the family.
That leaves my husband, daughter, and I without a large gathering to attend.
Oh, sure, we could horn in on their parties (and we might), but that’s not what we usually do.
Long ago, we instituted a policy: every other year we swap which holiday our family spends together.
That’s the only fair way to handle the holidays.
Our turn was Thanksgiving this year, which means the kids go to their in-laws’ houses for Christmas.
We’ll have them next year for Christmas (but not Thanksgiving).
(We are SO thankful for obliging “outlaws!”)
In the meantime, what do we do?
Christmas Eve can be lonely while traveling.
For several years, we traveled over the Christmas holidays.
It was the only way we could guarantee all the kids would be able to join us on a family vacation.
We spent the holidays in exotic locations where we learned new traditions.
(U.S. Army Wikimedia)
When we lived in Hawai’i, for example, we learned a Christmas tree is unlikely to still have needles on it by December 15!
(In addition, we always bought a new Christmas Hawai’ian shirt each year–we didn’t need any scarves!)
One year, the only restaurant in town we could find open on Christmas Eve (in Queenstown, New Zealand) was a Hard Rock Cafe.
Our family were the only guests–except for a dozen international businessmen who enjoyed the local wine too much.
As we looked at our burgers, listened to hard rock music, and watched the busy drinkers, I wondered, “Why am I not at my sister-in-law’s house baking a Yule Log?”
Why indeed?
We stayed home the following year.
Death at Christmas
For many people, the first Christmas holiday after a significant family loss can be difficult.
I’ve written about this here, here, and here.
My solution was to develop new holiday traditions (or travel, see above).
That year in New Zealand (the year my father died), we shopped for presents (on this trip, local and small enough to fit in a Christmas stocking), went to the movies, and then to a restaurant to dine.
Bleak.
Other years, we’ve baked traditional family meals to make Christmas Eve less lonely and attended a local church service.
We worked hard not to think about the hole in our lives.
The one year my husband was out to sea on a submarine, the toddlers and I went to bed early. Why bother to stay up until midnight?
Each year I faced an empty Christmas Eve without loved ones, I sought a way to eat a good dinner, remember the reason for the season, perhaps watch a good Christmas movie, and go to bed early.
The kids didn’t know the difference until they were old enough to come up with their own fun ideas. Board games, anyone?
Focus, instead, on how Christmas Eve wasn’t lonely for Mary and Joseph
When those shepherds burst into the manger, Mary and Joseph weren’t thinking Christmas Eve can be lonely.
Who knows where the relatives were that night in Bethlehem, but when baby Jesus was born, everything changed.
Singing Christmas carols on Christmas Eve night to remember the Messiah’s birth can only help lift our own hearts.
Even the Hard Rock Cafe played Paul McCartney singing “Wonderful Christmastime!”
If you’re lonely on Christmas Eve this year, focus on the Savior’s birth, remember happy past Christmases, and try to make it to a church service either Christmas Eve night or Christmas morning.
You’ll be surprised at how much good it will do you.
Blessings to all my readers, and Merry Christmas 2024.
Thoughts? Reactions? Lurker?